Submerging the “I”

In his book “Consider This”, Chuck Palahnuik suggests that readers do not enjoy the 1st POV because the use of “I” reminds them that they are not in the story. He suggests writing narratives without the use of “I”. Instead of saying, “I think she is annoying,” you would simply say, “She is annoying.”

He also quotes American novelist, Katherine Dunn, as saying, “No two people ever enter the same room.” I challenged my buddies to write a 1st POV scenario where someone enters a social situation, without using “I”. Then they were to try writing the same situation from multiple other perspectives. My effort is below. Give it a try.

Birth Buddy Reunion

Sue

Attending the reunion was not really on my to do list. Everyone arrived before me. Kim’s kitchen is crowded and the chatter amplifies as it bounces off the backsplash tile and stone counter. The result is a high-pitched white noise, frequently accented by shrill laughter.

Greetings were extended upon entering. “Nice to see you too. Fine, thank you. Everyone is well. How about you? Yes, please. White.” The customary rite of inclusion. Now, settled precariously on the only stool at the island, my feet dangling above the blonde hardwood floor, sip the Chardonnay and smile. The goal is a relaxed, attentive expression.

There’s no need for concern about suitable topics of conversation. What’s wanted most are listeners, a role that feels comfortable. All that’s required is an occasional nod, “hmm” or “really” to fuel the speaker’s monologue.

They say these relationships are transformational. Women who share the experience of childbirth are forever bonded, members of a biological sisterhood. Moving to another town in order to void my membership is not financially feasible.

Oh Lord help me, here’s Jessica in all her corporate glory. Her hipbones protrude from that tailored skirt and those heels must make her over six feet tall. Her nails have to be acrylic. It’s to stop biting mine.

Jessica

These shoes are crippling and Silent Sue snagged the only place to sit. It’s ridiculous to be in the kitchen, when there’s a perfectly comfortable living room or sunroom. The island covered with food seems to be serving as an anchor. What are those bright pink canapés?

It’s abundantly clear that these women haven’t returned to the work force. The tell-tale signs of domestic deterioration are obvious. Katelyn’s roots are showing and Amelia’s wearing sweat pants, for heaven’s sake. They might as well put on a t-shirt that says, “I give up.”

Cutting them loose is not an option because of the investment potential. Patience will bring rewards. In a couple of years they’ll be thinking of college funds and retirement savings and there’s no one more trustworthy than a birth buddy.

Kim seems to be doing okay. That’s a Breville Oracle coffee maker and the counter looks like engineered quartz. Not particularly unique.

“Oh, hi Amelia. How are things with you?”

Amelia

“Jess. Lovely to see you. You’re looking gorgeous as always.”

Gosh, she’s beautiful. How come she looks so slim? We gave birth within days of each other and I’m still carrying around twenty extra pounds.

“Oh, the baby’s great. Just great. She’s with her Nana today. Thank god for Tony’s parents.”

It’s so sad that Jess had to go back to work. She’s missing the most important time in her child’s development. What a gift that Tony sees the value of stay-at-home moms.

“Belize? Really? You’re so lucky. What’s it like?”

She left her baby with an au pair for ten whole days? Wow. Being away from my darling that long is unimaginable.

“Have you tried the crab puffs? They’re super delicious.” And they’re a fabulous shade of pink.

“Don’t you think Kim’s kitchen turned out well?” It was an expensive reno. “She had a professional designer do the layout and pick the finishes. I love the countertop.”

Kim

Okay, they’re all here and the food is going over very well. There’s no need to feel so nervous. These women are my dearest friends in all the world. What am amazing bunch.

Jessica is so put-together. What a force to be reckoned with. She looks fantastic and confidence is like a glow around her. Note to self: remind Alan that we should make an appointment to discuss investments with her.

Amelia is such a contrast. Talk about Earth Mother. She told me the other day that she’s growing all her own vegetables in her yard. She’s so ambitious and such a dedicated mother. She and Tony really have things figured out.

Sue causes me worry. After all we’ve been through it still feels like there’s a wall up around her. Maybe it’s because she’s a single mom, but that was her choice so you’d think she’d be comfortable with it. Money is tight for her. Geez, hopefully gathering in my new kitchen doesn’t look pretentious. The living room is full of baby debris. Who knew that there’d be so much stuff for such a tiny person?

The standing cocktail party format is good anyway. It helps people to circulate. Still, it’ll be nice next month when it’s Katelyn’s turn to host.

Katelyn

Man it’s nice to get out of the house. “Kim, these pink things are delicious. Crab? Shit!” Where’s my bag? Shit. Shit.

“No, it’s okay. Just an allergy. There’s an EpiPen in here somewhere.”

Crap, there’s so much stuff. Where is that stupid thing?

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Here it is.” What do you mean my face is puffy? Shit!

“Is there a chair somewhere? This thing has to be jammed into my thigh.” Sometime before collapsing would be nice.

“Thanks.” Ouch. This darn thing better not be out of date.

“No. No need to call an ambulance.” Hopefully.

“The medication is working.” Oooh. What a rush.

“It’s going to be fine. Seriously, Kim. It’s not your fault.” Although you’ve been told on several occasions.

Breathe. Man, is this worth getting out of the house?